All across the civilized world, people are constantly getting hurt, which means personal injury insurance compensation is a booming industry. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 31 million people are injured every year in the USA alone. When liability is disputed, a personal injury claim is opened.
These claims include construction accidents, car accidents, medical malpractice, and many others. What kind of payouts can people expect to receive from each type of accident?
A recent campaign by Compare Compensation Claims (CCC) gave everyone a lesson on insurance claims by analyzing classic movie accidents. It’s a hilarious and informative way to illustrate how these insurance claims work.
Probably the most iconic example on the list is “Home Alone.” Looking back, 8-year-old Kevin was a complete savage. When burglars attempted to break into his house, he burnt their hands with glowing-hot doorknobs. He set their heads on fire. He severely cut their feet with nails and jagged broken Christmas ornaments. Next, he pelted them in the face with hot irons and paint cans. He even shot one of them in the groin and face with a pellet gun.
These scenes were funny, but apparently, you’re not supposed to do this to people. There are lawful ways to defend your property. Setting a series of deadly booby traps is not one of them.
According to CCC, the bandits would’ve had grounds to claim £114, 340 ($148,000) in damages from insurance companies. I guess Kevin could’ve just called the police.
Harry Potter and The Chamber Of Secrets
Another amazing analysis comes from “Harry Potter and The Chamber Of Secrets.” After a quidditch accident (quidditch is the game they play on flying broomsticks for you non-HP nerds), Harry breaks his arm.
Instead of setting the bone and putting a cast on, Professor Lockhart tries to heal it using a magical spell. Instead of healing the broken arm, he accidentally makes the bones disappear entirely so that Harry’s entire forearm is a squid-like tentacle.
This same scenario often plays out – only without magical spells in the equation. Sometimes hospitals do accidentally remove bones and body parts from patients due to miscommunication.
According to CCC, if Harry were to have his arm bones completely removed and then lost, he would be entitled to a £114 810 ($149,993) payout. We’re not sure if a chunk of cash would ease the pain of having a squid arm for the rest of your life (or cover the costs of getting a new one), but it’s still good to know. If you ever break your arm and you’re thinking of the worst-case scenario, you now know what to expect.
A more extreme example is when Regina in “Mean Girls” gets completely leveled by a bus.
An admittedly brilliant example of dark humor, the same scenario is a horrifying and unfortunately common occurrence. According to the CCC, 5,987 pedestrians were killed by cars in the United States in 2016. Luckily for Regina in Mean Girls, she manages to survive but comes out of it with a broken spine, presumably affecting her life forever. CCC estimates Regina would receive a £141,150 ($184,405) payout for this incident.
Again, this is good to know. Next time you get run over by a bus, try to survive so you can get the payout.
10 Things I Hate About You
There’s another illuminating example from “10 Thing I hate About You.” Remember when Bianca approaches Joey at the dance and punches him twice in the nose and then knees him in the crotch? Joey may have deserved it, but it’s illegal to break someone’s nose – even if you’re really mad at them. The darn justice system will have that person covered, and according to CCC, Joey could’ve been entitled to a £2,760 ($3,605) payout.
Moral of the story? Next time you want to punch a jerk in the nose, think of another way to get back at them.
The Devil Wears Prada
Let’s also consider the scene from “The Devil Wears Prada,” where Emily gets hit by a taxi and breaks her leg. CCC came up with a mediocre compensation payout of £10,380 ($13,560). Not bad, but probably not worth the pain of breaking a leg. An undoubtedly meager payout compared to the other scenarios.
Remember the scene from Stephen King’s “Misery” where Annie straps Paul to his bed, drugs him and then destroys his ankles with a sledgehammer? It’s a pretty iconic scene, but what about the legal implications? According to CCC, Annie’s brutal shenanigans would’ve landed Paul a £43,900 ($57,353) payout.
This doesn’t seem worth it to us. Broken ankles can heal, but when they are shattered like that, the healing process will be long and painful, especially as an adult. Plus, the sheer terror of that scene would leave even the coldest of men psychologically traumatized for months.
Lastly, we have the scene from “It” where Eddie falls through the floor after being spooked by the demonic Pennywise. After fainting in fear, he falls through the floor and breaks his arm on impact. CCC’s estimated payout for little Eddie would be £5,810 ($7590). Again, this amount isn’t really all that exciting. Being ambushed by a shapeshifting demonic clown, fainting, and then breaking your arm doesn’t really seem worth the money here.
Is it Worth the Wounds?
As you can see from CCC’s assessment, sometimes it’s possible to get compensated fairly for your injuries, and sometimes your payout isn’t really going to be worth the wounds.
At least now we have a rough idea of what to expect in the event of an injury, accident, or disappearance of bones.